


Groundhog Day

by GrumpkinVicky



Series: Millicent Avoids a War The Multiverse [8]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Hag, Knitting, Not Canon Compliant, Pocket Dimension, Sex Positive, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21819316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpkinVicky/pseuds/GrumpkinVicky
Summary: Millicent has been listening to the same work stories now for what feels like years. There is a reason why she chose not to go into the Muggle workplace, now if she can only get Remus from talking about the lunchtime antics and move on to Millicent that would be great.
Relationships: Millicent Bulstrode/Remus Lupin
Series: Millicent Avoids a War The Multiverse [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1531325
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Groundhog Day

**Author's Note:**

> Please if you want this to make any sense at all, read the very first one Millicent Avoids a War, everything that comes after are choose your own ending.

“Right, I’m off to work.” Millicent wasn’t sure why Remus was telling her again. He went off to work every day, and she didn’t care any day. He would come back at the same time, go to bed at the same time, and shag her senseless. She was only really interested in the last part. If she left it up to Remus he’d want to use the same moves as well, but then thankfully she knew how to direct him. 

“I’m off to the greenhouse.” Neville was the same, other than the shagging part. He liked to witter on about the same things every day too. She didn’t much care for that either, but he was dedicated to mud she had to give him that if not for closing doors. 

Millicent sometimes found things she’d done would disappear the following morning. Like the scarf she was trying to knit, so much so she’d started putting projects into her bag at night. That had worked at least, but then she’d forget to check it the following morning. She had gotten a lot better with all the practice, now able to knock out a simple scarf in a day. 

There was something she was forgetting, something that niggled at the back of the brain as vaguely important.

“Remus?” She’d interrupted his very interesting story about how Geoff had yet again stolen Gail’s lunch. Millicent would have started wrapping the lunch in razorblades the second time he’d done it. Perhaps Gail secretly liked Geoff and it was a weird Muggle courting thing. 

“Milly?” Bleagh, she’d told him again and again not to call her that. At least Neville hadn’t attempted it.

“What have you been doing about the moon?” Millicent had finally remembered the niggling thing.

“What do you mean? The moons not due for another two weeks…” Millicent wasn’t the best at keeping track of time. It wasn’t entirely her fault either, the days all bled into each other with how dull her companions were. Well, mainly dull, at night Remus was frankly inspired when directed properly.

“Oh, my mistake. So I was thinking tonight we might try something a bit different, I’ve been reading…” Millicent loved how Remus would get that look in his eyes as if he’d been handed a drink in the middle of a desert.

“Right, I’m off to work.” Millicent rolled her eyes, one of these days he might say something different. 

“I’m off to the greenhouse.” Millicent still didn’t care. 

“I’m going to try fair isle.” In fairness to Millicent, the two men didn’t care about Millicent’s hobbies either. It worked out best for all involved. Remus liked to work so he could talk to other adults, though with Geoff’s childish antics and the other “humorous” tales he came back with… 

The fair isle had started out badly, but she was getting the hang of it, picking up and dropping colours. It was the best thing about this mundane world, the amount of wool she had access to. All she needed to do was occasionally head down to the local shops, they always had the same batch numbers in. It was brilliant.

The people were a bit dull. “Lovely day again, nice to have a bit of sun after all that rain.” Millicent was never quite sure why they mentioned rain, she’d not seen any in maybe years. Definitely months. Perhaps it was just her forest that was protected from the nightly battering rains these people claimed.

“So you’ll never guess what happened at lunch.” Millicent rolled her eyes, of course, she knew it was the same thing every day. 

“Don’t tell me, Geoff stole Gail’s lunch again. I told you to tell Gail she needs to either shag him or put something in her lunch. The man is a menace.” Remus looked a bit confused; he never listened to a thing she said some days.

“Right, anyway so after the lunchroom quietened down guess who turned up for the first time this year,” Millicent wasn’t sure why Rolph turning up as he did every day was such a big deal. The man was a prat, nothing special but from what Remus twittered on about everyone in the place thought he was Merlin’s gift.

“Rolph, and he brought in biscuits and photos.” Millicent started tapping her knife against the water glass. Millicent didn’t always let Remus witter on after work, because it was the same thing every day. It’d been a while though and for some stupid reason, she’d believed that maybe he had a different story. Very very occasionally he did. Not a particularly good one, she still couldn’t believe he thought that having to change paper towels was interesting. Still, the man thought a cardigan was the height of fashion.

“Remus, did I tell you about the bird that flew into the greenhouse?” Neville started up, Millicent had told him, again and again, to lock the door behind him. The wards didn’t stop birds, they stopped muggles. 

“Is anyone going to ask what I’ve done today?” Millicent dropped her knife onto her plate with a clatter.

“Did you knit?” Remus asked with that stupid glint in his eye. See if she shagged him tonight. Who was she fooling, of course, she would but she’d make him squirm first.

“I went into town, actually.” Sod him.

“Did you go to the craft shop again?” He thought he was so funny the smug bastard wolf in his stupid cardigans.

“Well I’m going to bed, you can sleep with Neville tonight.” 

“Right, I’m off to work.” He wasn’t even going to apologise the bastard.

“I’m off to the greenhouse.” And Neville, the man stealing hussy. Well if that’s how they were going to play it.

Millicent spent the day fuming, Remus hadn’t come crawling back in the middle of the night like he was supposed to do. Stupid wolf. See if she would bend before he did.

“Right, I’m off to work.” Was he still not going to apologise? She’d been counting the days since the argument. It had been three months and Millicent was ready to burst. It was all well and good being mad when she could get her itches scratched but this was getting beyond a joke.

“Whatever, like I give a toss. Which is precisely all you’ll be doing from now on. That’s it, we are through I’m going to go find myself a new muggle to sleep with you inconsiderate bastard.” Millicent had thrown a brick at the stupid wolf and stomped off in the opposite direction. 

“I’m off to the - Remus are you alright?” Neville the stupid bastard cooing over the bastard wolf. Gryffindork’s always stuck together.

Millicent wasn’t sure how she had ended up back at the cabin, the last thing she remembered was getting utterly rat-arsed with the muggles from the craft shop. They’d hit up several pubs before making their way to the only drag club this side of the river. There were four the other side, but Millicent liked the one by itself. Because Millicent was by herself. Now that Remus was being a prat of the first order and not apologising as he should.

“Right, I’m off to work.” Was he not going to comment on yesterday?

“Is that it?” Millicent couldn’t help herself but ask.

“Uh, what?” He wavered on the porch looking at her as if she was crazy.

“We have a fight, and you just pretend nothing happened?” Millicent thought Gryffindorks were supposed to be the brave ones.

“We had a fight?” Well, that just took the biscuit.

“Fine, whatever. Go to work and watch as Gail goes demented because Geoff steals her lunch again for the millionth time, and how Rolph turns up yet again and you all pretend he’s like Merlin.” Millicent pushed him off out of the door so she could slam it properly.

“I’m off-” 

“I don’t care, Neville, you are always off to the stupid greenhouse, learn to say something new for once. Men. Fucking idiots the lot of you.” 

Millicent set stinging wards to zap both of them when they tried to reenter the cabin. She’d tried drinking her problems away yesterday and that hadn’t worked. Her guardian would be mortified if she now developed a drinking habit so she’d need a new coping mechanism. She retired to bed with a good book and her favourite toy.

Well, it definitely worked. She was much more relaxed by the time Remus was due back. And he was much more interested, she could hear it in his voice as he demanded entry into the cabin, the growl.

“Millicent, let me in.” Millicent was feeling too relaxed to want to move from the chair.

“Little hag, little hag let me in…” He’d not used that in a loonnng time. A very long time. 

“Not by the hair in your ears will I let you in.” Millicent would be strong and ignore the way she’d clamped her legs together.

“Little hag, little hag you will let me in…” They both knew Millicent would crumble. She hadn’t yet found a defence for the way he could growl in that dangerously gravelly way.

“No, not by the hair between your legs will I let you in.” It was a massive lie, Millicent had unlocked the door from the chair silently. She needed this. 

“I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I will fuck you until you can’t stand.” The door slammed open and Remus pounced on her, pinning her to the chair.

It took him a while to get her to the point where she couldn’t stand, but neither could he. Millicent was a rainbow of colours from his mouth and fingers, and he wasn’t much better.

“You tease, you utter utter tease.” Remus nipped at her neck, making her gasp for the nth time that night.

“I’m a tease, we haven’t had sex in months and I’m the tease?” Millicent mumbled, her fingers reaching up to trace the scars on his face.

“Alright, Milly love you need to explain exactly what you are talking about.” He pinned her to the floor, staring with those big amber eyes of his. 

“We had a big fight, and then yesterday it all bubbled over because you’ve just been ignoring the problem so we split up and I went and got drunk at the only drag club this side of the river.” Millicent glared half-heartedly at him. She would spell it out as the idiot didn’t seem to understand what he’d done wrong. Men. Fucking idiots.

“What?” Remus looked stunned.

“Well, maybe the original argument wasn’t quite a big fight but it was pretty big. You were telling the stupid story about Geoff and Gail, and Rolph. Neville was telling the stupid story about the bird again. Then when I wanted to talk about my day you were dismissive, you male dickish bastard.” Millicent punched him hard in the shoulder. 

“How did you know about Geoff and Gail? And Rolph?” He was such a prick, why had she slept with him again? Oh, the ache on her body, yeah that was the reason. It’d been so long, she shouldn’t go more than a day without shagging him the magnificent beast.

“You tell the same story every day. Literally every day. The first couple of times it was charming, like yay you have something to talk about beyond paper. Now it’s just annoying. It’s why sometimes I just cut you off. Like I told you, just tell Gail she needs to shag Geoff or stab him, he’s obviously going to keep doing it. Oh, and Rolph, he turns up every day after lunch. Maybe it’s the biscuits, maybe that's why you all love him but really if you all put a bit of money in each month you could just buy biscuits for yourselves. Get some respect people.”

“How long exactly?” Remus seemed to be ignoring the fact Millicent was huffing.

“I don’t know, a while, like a couple of years, maybe more.”

“You didn’t think it was odd?” He was giving her a funny look, the sort she gave to Neville.

“What?”

“The fact that I’ve been going to work every day for the last however long?” Come to think about, perhaps it was a little odd. He did used to have time off and weekends. She missed the weekend sessions where they would kick Neville out to go see his girlfriend Penny who lived two counties over. 

“I thought maybe you just really liked biscuits.” Millicent gave it a try, it ranked about a Crabbe on the scale of cunning. Remus seemed to think maybe it was a Goyle. He wasn’t exactly wrong.

“If you promise to remember to get me out of the bag in the morning?” Remus was giving her the look. It wasn’t her fault she forgot occasionally. It wasn’t as if she’d left both of them in there for too long the second time. But it was easier when Neville reminded her after a full moon.

“I’ll write it down.” He gave her the look. “I promise.” She hadn’t said what she was promising. Just that she promised something.

“I’m off to the greenhouse, has Remus gone already?” Bugger, Remus was still in the bag. This was why Millicent kept Neville about, he was better at recognising Remus being missing than she was. 

“Uh, no, he’s still in bed - late night last night after we made up.” Neville had wandered off already, he never liked to hear about their exploits the giant wuss. 

Remus had looked marginally impressed when she released him with time for him to go to work. Millicent hadn’t explained that Neville was the only reason.

The rest of the day progressed, as usual, Millicent had finally mastered fair isle. She was just finishing off a rather spiffing looking hat as Remus returned looking concerned.

“Don’t tell me, Geoff and Gail, again?” Millicent asked.

“Everything was the same as yesterday. I want to do another couple of tries, so if you can promise again?” Millicent felt a bit dubious about it all, it was a lot of pressure. “We can try that thing you wanted to try and I said I would need to think about it because of the risk to my spine.” 

“I promise.”

“I’m off to the greenhouse, has Remus gone already?” Merlin bless Neville, he’d saved her skin again. 

“Alright, so yesterday was exactly the same, so I’m going to try again. Tomorrow I’ll attempt it but staying out of the bag at the end of the day.” Millicent merely nodded, she wasn’t that interested in what he was playing with.

Remus returned looking more concerned at the end of the day, Millicent wasn’t as convinced by this as she had been originally. She’d just wanted a bit of variety, but now he was looking as if he wouldn’t be interested in sleeping with her.

“It’s exactly the same for everyone else.” 

“That’s muggles for you.” Millicent offered.

“It isn’t normal muggle behaviour though Milly love is it.” Remus was giving her the look again. The one she really didn’t appreciate.

“Well it’s been my normal for a while now, so you can get off that high horse of yours.” Millicent wasn’t prepared to let Remus talk down to her, not even if he had done the thing with the boneless charm that she’d asked. 

“We need to break whatever it is that’s doing it.” 

“Why?” Remus gave her a look. This was a different one from the Neville look, this was a “what do you mean why?” look.

“Because it’s not normal.”

“You haven’t turned in over two years. Without using the bag. Might have even been longer.” Remus yelped. 

“What do you mean longer?” 

“Well, time’s just a concept, isn’t it. Anyway, you don’t even need to go to work because what will they do, sack you?” Millicent was impressed with how easily she’d embraced the idea of it just being the same day over and over again. It made more sense than Remus just being very dull, especially when he was so inventive in the bedroom.

Remus spent a few weeks researching time loops. He spent his time driving Millicent demented as he would try and spout new theories as if she cared. Millicent was perfectly happy now that she had Remus to play with properly. He’d even managed to retain his own reality without being in the bag after the seventh day. 

“There must be something we need to stop from happening to fix the loop.” 

“So I was looking at page 78, and I think if we hook up some more handholds we could totally achieve it, and it would feel amazing.” Millicent turned her manual over to him. She was pleased to see him actually react, unlike when she’d blown in his ear earlier.

“Milly, this is important.” 

“I’m important too…” 

“You are, but so is saving the world.” Fucking drama queen Gryffindorks.

“I’m off to the greenhouse, are you not going in today Remus?” Millicent had refused to stick Neville in the bag, but he now had a bit more variety in the morning.

“He’s just going to leave the door open and it’s going to let the bird in again.” Millicent glared at Remus who was ignoring the fact that she was dressed in stockings and a cardigan.

“Right, so I wonder if it’s something that happens at the end of the day, which is why we keep coming back to the start.” She’d even put on the cardigan he said brought out her eyes.

“Remus.” 

“If we both head to different parts of town tonight maybe we’ll see what it is that sets off the time loop.” He really was an idiot.

“So the bird flies into the greenhouse and it made a right mess.” 

“Just shut the door behind you as you go in and out, you can even do it with a charm, you inbred idiot.”

“Millicent Bulstrode, apologise.” Now Remus was paying attention to her. Typical.

“No, Neville, you are an utter idiot. You put a brick in front of the door to stop it from shutting by itself. Of course, a bird is going to fly in and destroy the crop.” Idiot, Gryffindork idiot.

“But they need breeze to keep them cool this time of year, especially after all the rain got in. They are at risk of rot and disease.” Neville didn’t look too upset about being called an idiot, because he knew the truth.

“Open the side panels up to let through draft in then. They have slats in for precisely that reason. AND YOU ARE A WIZARD YOU IDIOT! Use magic to clear away the damp, or if not the Muggles have stuff that does it too.” Millicent had enough of listening to the idiots being idiots.

“They do?” 

“Yes, just get down to Argos, or get Remus to order you some stuff from work and he’ll get it sent to the office if you don’t want to leave.”

“See you can be nice.” Millicent was prepared to throttle the wolf, who hadn’t noticed that she’d been trying to fondle him with her foot.

“I’m going to bed. You can sleep with Neville.”

“I’m off to the greenhouse, are you coming too?” Neville gave Millicent a strange look, but Millicent couldn’t be bothered to listen to another thrilling instalment in the bird saga. 

“Yes, now watch this.” Millicent proceeded to remove the brick and the door closed behind them as Neville got agitated about the damp.

“But-”

“Yeah well, because I am a fully grown Hag and a fully paid-up member of Slytherin I know how to use my own magic.” She opened the slats on the sides, letting a gentle breeze pass through. “Now you could always use some magic to clear the damp out too if you so chose to.”

“Thanks, Milly, Remus always said you were a team player.” Millicent chose to respond by punching him in the arm, hard. She was pleased to see him wince, teach him to call her Milly.

Remus was sulking at work, Millicent had refused to head into town the previous night so he was sure whatever happened must have happened on the side of town he wasn’t able to cover. He hadn’t given up making passive-aggressive comments, to the point where Millicent suddenly remembered her love of gardening. Or watching Neville sweat as she took stock of the greenhouses.

“Neville?” 

“Milly?” He had a death wish, but at the moment he was better company than Remus who wasn’t falling for her blatant come-ons.

“What are you growing in that greenhouse that you were so worried about rot in?” It wasn’t Mandrakes, they were round the other side. Three large greenhouses of them in different varieties with silencing charms because they didn’t half scream for attention.

“Oh, you know that project you wanted to work on?” Millicent had no idea. 

“Remind me?”

“Well, Professor Snape had been working on the cure for Remus, and you had some ideas about it using different strains of crossbred herbs. Well some of them are a bit temperamental. And a bit dangerous. It’s a good job there’s no ministry because we’d be in Azkaban for growing them.” Neville gave her a cheery smile. This was the other reason she liked to keep him about, he was surprisingly good at breaking the law.

“How dangerous?” Millicent could feel her eyes light up.

“Well, a couple of plague types, that if they got into the open-world might cause an epidemic. I thought you might like to see if you could find a cure for it. You seem to like that kind of thing, so after you got all upset about finding Professor Snape’s library I thought I’d give you something to play with.”

“I think I love you, Neville.” Millicent hugged him hard, he might be an idiot Gryffindork, and he wouldn’t remember come morning. But that might have been the sweetest thing anyone had done for her since leaving her guardian.

“Hag…” Remus had stopped sulking to witness her profess her love for the gardener. It was nice to see that he had pulled his head out of his backside to get jealous.

“Later Neville, you wonderful wonderful man.” Millicent laughed. Neville winked at her as she ran screaming away from Remus, disappearing off for the rest of the day to be utterly ravished.

“Morning Neville,” Millicent purred, Remus, hanging onto her his teeth worrying the mark on her shoulder.

“Do you think I need to tell Penny that you’ve thrown your hat into the ring?”

“Hmm?” 

“Well, you did hug me and say you loved me, for you that’s practically asking me to bond. Have you even told Remus you love him yet?” Neville had a death wish as Millicent looked pale.

“Fuck.” Of all the times for the stupid loop to end, it had to be after she’d told Longbottom that. Maybe she could wipe his memory. This was not how she wanted her hag life to be. 

“Mine!” Remus growled, Neville, holding his hands up in surrender. Perhaps it wasn’t too bad after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Millicent has bitten me again. Expect more.


End file.
